Dear Trixie,
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for sending me at least eight emails a day inviting me to view your webcam. Now as you may already be aware, I am a very busy fellow. Please don’t take this personally; it is just very difficult for me to fit you in my life right now.
Now Trixie, I know what you are going to say, you and your hot and wild girlfriends have been waiting to hear from me all day. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate your commitment. Oh, and thanks for calling me a stud, you see, it has been a rather trying week at work and I have been rather down on myself lately. Please know that your compliments have not gone unappreciated.
Sweetest Trixie, the last thing I would want is for our relationship to be one-sided, but I can’t afford a webcam right now, and that just isn’t fair to you. I know that you have written me time and time again to tell me that your only desire is my pleasure, but eventually you’ll grow to resent me. You see, the last webcam gal I dated was all sweet in the beginning, she told me she was mine forever. Then, she started charging me $4.99 a minute, and even worse, I found out she wasn’t being faithful. I just couldn’t let that happen to us.
Don’t worry, you’ll find someone else. You are young and beautiful, and as you claim, barely legal. I am confident that you’ll find plenty of other guys out there looking for a raunchy, hard-core web session. Until then, you just go right ahead and enjoy those nude pillow fights you are so fond of with you girlfriends, Sapphire and Janice.
So this is goodbye, Trixie. I’ll think of you every time that little camera watches me withdraw money from the ATM.
Love Always,
Conor
P.S. I’m changing my email address.
CJM, signing off....
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for sending me at least eight emails a day inviting me to view your webcam. Now as you may already be aware, I am a very busy fellow. Please don’t take this personally; it is just very difficult for me to fit you in my life right now.
Now Trixie, I know what you are going to say, you and your hot and wild girlfriends have been waiting to hear from me all day. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate your commitment. Oh, and thanks for calling me a stud, you see, it has been a rather trying week at work and I have been rather down on myself lately. Please know that your compliments have not gone unappreciated.
Sweetest Trixie, the last thing I would want is for our relationship to be one-sided, but I can’t afford a webcam right now, and that just isn’t fair to you. I know that you have written me time and time again to tell me that your only desire is my pleasure, but eventually you’ll grow to resent me. You see, the last webcam gal I dated was all sweet in the beginning, she told me she was mine forever. Then, she started charging me $4.99 a minute, and even worse, I found out she wasn’t being faithful. I just couldn’t let that happen to us.
Don’t worry, you’ll find someone else. You are young and beautiful, and as you claim, barely legal. I am confident that you’ll find plenty of other guys out there looking for a raunchy, hard-core web session. Until then, you just go right ahead and enjoy those nude pillow fights you are so fond of with you girlfriends, Sapphire and Janice.
So this is goodbye, Trixie. I’ll think of you every time that little camera watches me withdraw money from the ATM.
Love Always,
Conor
P.S. I’m changing my email address.
CJM, signing off....
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9 comments:
It's totally my favorite thing you've ever written. Very funny.
Conor you absolutely kill me.
Trixie will be so disappointed, she told me you were her one and only :(
--Sheila Monzillo
You're right, she would never be faithful. I believe she has propositioned me with the same thing. Nice blog.
Conor, you are damn funny! I'm glad I found your blog. Love it.
You are hilarious!
Keep on writing...you definitely have a new fan!
I Love This. I was late to work this morning and everything seem to be going downhill, but I am sooo glad I am not Trixie!
Hilarious! I'll be checking your blog every week. Loved the Anderson Stooper entry too.
This is honestly to funny. I could hardly read because I was laughing so loud. We all get those type of e-mails and I think this is a perfect response. Thanks for the great laugh.
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